I was in a depression-era scene and was part of a family in the poor mountain countryside (like a scene from "The Waltons" except with no big house or possessions) with one of those old 1930s pick-up trucks. My family were all dying of malnutrition and even our little boy, our youngest, was going to die with us. Then I was that boy, and I knew I was going to die. It was extremely sad, but then it was kind of sweet, bittersweet, because I knew I would die with my family whom I loved. And then it seemed like I was going to survive, and I would be the only survivor. My family would die but I would be found and I would tell people about what had happened. The sadness from the dream was so strong, so so so strong that when I woke up I was still deeply sad and full of sorrow.Spiritually-speaking, being raised in Adventism was often like being brought up in hard-hit parts of America during the Great Depression: We were spiritually malnourished and had no hope of being saved (we were especially taught to never dare to speak with any sureness about being saved). Searching for consolation, we thought that at least we had each other.
I was raised without the sure hope, and like many of my friends was 'dying' as I continued on a course into the atheism, or into the perpetual guilt of a backslider, or into the emptiness of celebrating our "culture" while starving for real spiritual spiritual substance. But then the picture changed. God brought me to Himself, to full Sabbath-rest in Himself (in the Cross alone) and later out of the Adventist church itself. In the dream, this is when I knew I would survive. Indeed I have gone out and lived among those who are better-fed, among those who are alive in Christ, among those who know they will be rescued and already have been rescued. And I praise God for this.
Yet as I have been out among Christians in the Body of Christ, sometimes all I have been able to share about my old church is how they live dying of spiritual malnourishment and without hope of being saved.
The sadness! The sadness of leaving my family behind!
The sadness remained and did not go away!
It overwhelms me!
How much more does God's heart break for His beloved children in Adventism?